Parenting sensitive youth (and reparenting ourselves) is really all about self-regulation. 

You probably have noticed that regulation is a big buzzword these days: 

• Dysregulation
• Self-regulation 
• Co-regulation

For good reason! High sensitivity gives a person a very reactive nervous system. It can feel very tricky to try to keep everything even-keel. 

Do you find your family is often running on overdrive? We are going to practice tools to help everyone in the family… actually anyone in your vicinity becomes more calm and settled. 

That is the definition of co-regulation. We use our own self-regulation, our bodies, our hearts, and our minds to calm our world and the world around us. 

Is it as simple as breathing? Sometimes it is! 

But breathing in the midst of chaos is no simple thing. And trying to get the kids or your upset partner to breathe once they are dysregulated aka off-the-rails is more or less impossible. 

Do you, whoever you are reading this, have to be the REGULATOR for everyone around you? That’s not fair or right or even possible…agreed?

And yet, if you want life to flow and be easier for you. You will need to use your sensitivity to lead your family (and community) in the right direction.

In the 12 step program, Al-Anon, they say, “As we apply these principles, the family situation is bound to improve.” Psychiatrist, Dr. Murray Bowen famously demonstrated this same concept in his family systems theory. As one cog in the wheel creates change in themselves, the system will adjust. So… let’s oil up that cog and change it for the best. 

My mentor, Dr. Elaine Aron, often tells the story of sinking into deep meditation in the middle of a busy subway car when the power went out, or on an airplane stuck on the tarmac for way too long. The agitation we all have experienced in like situations diminished dramatically around Elaine as she meditated. This is self-regulation in the service of co-regulation.

Emotional leadership, the birthright of HSPs is what we (Elaine and I) call this talent for co-regulation. 

The beauty of emotional leadership as co-regulation is this: 

IT IS EASY TO TEACH!