Mothers are very important in a sensitive childhood. Mothers of sensitive children and youth tell me all the time how inadequate they feel or how overwhelmed they feel or how they're sure they should have done more or could be doing more.

This begs the question, what was your mother's experience? How did she show up for you? How did she fail you? How are you living with your sensitivity today and how do you feel about the mothering you received.

Highly sensitive people, your mother did not do enough. She didn't see you enough or support you enough or even love you enough. But the thing is, nobody could have. Sensitive children have so many needs, and they can't be met by just one person.

Let's celebrate Mother's Day differently this year.

Perhaps it's time to reframe the mothering you received. In this masterclass, we explored the mothers we had and reframe our childhood through the lens of compassion.

This is life changing inner work. A highly sensitive person with any kind of difficulty in their childhood cannot thrive without doing this work.

Please join me as we reframe motherhood with compassion, forgiveness, and love. If you are also a mother, you will find your parenting journey transformed as well.

Bring a pen and paper and a hankie, and let's get to work.

Questions:

1) How can I navigate the overwhelming sense of feeling like a "child" as an adult? And, how do I also get in touch with the child inside that's less worrying and complaining but is more joyful and carefree? This part did not have a lot of liberty to come out when I was an actual child, and I'd like to encourage her. 

2) As an adult, I know I can't and don't want to do this life alone - I want to be autonomous and interdependent.  How do I ask for support and what do I ask for in the context of having few close friends?

3) My mother, now in her 70s and in relatively good health, inevitably has a limited time left on this earth. Despite attempts with therapists, attempting to reflect on the past in a healing way hasn't yielded positive results and only leads to further frustration. In recent years, I have found peace in accepting that she may be emotionally immature and/or incapable of having the emotionally deep and healing conversations that I seek. While I am sad about the "lost" moments we may never have, I am trying to find solace in the small gestures of love, even if they are not expressed in the way I hoped for. How can I continue to cultivate peace within myself and in my relationship with her, without relying on any action on her part and our inter-communication which has historically been futile?

4) “I wanted to be an attorney”, my mother occasionally announced during times of her struggling in the roles of both father and mother to four kids and as wife in a crumbling marriage. This affects me today as her parentified child, a childless wife,  gathering here to discuss motherhood.  I get curious about what caused her to give up her dream? Was it pressure from her family and society at large to repopulate the U.S. post-World Wars?  Perhaps at age 9 during World War II she and her generation were being primed?  

When I observe families that came from that era, I notice a sense of the now-elderly parents, still married, who may have elected a partner they ‘liked’ in order to fulfill the expectations.  A companion to co-parent children, not necessarily a partner they deeply and unconditionally loved.

5) My 87 year old mother passed recently with narcissistic tendencies and perhaps regrets of unfulfilled dreams.  Her daughter (me) is questioning her own missed opportunities for fulfillment on her journey.  I sense society’s expectation of women to sacrifice in service to others may still be a thing.  In today’s event perhaps this can be a topic of discussion, or not