Do you suffer? You are not alone in your suffering. 

We HSPs do a great disservice to ourselves and others when we think of ourselves as weak compared to the warrior. Our strength is different, but frequently it is more powerful. Often it is the only kind that can begin to handle suffering and evil. It certainly requires equal courage and increases with its own type of training. Nor is it always about enduring, accepting, and finding meaning in suffering. Sometimes actions involving great skill and strategy are called for. 

--Elaine Aron, PhD, The Highly Sensitive Person, 2020
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Living with sensitivity, that more noticing, feeling, thinking, and reactive brain almost guarantees you will suffer at times in your life…more than those around you.

“What to do about it?” you may ask.

Shall we continue to suffer? We know that it is a universal experience and an integral part of the human experience.

Does it serve a purpose in your life to experience suffering?

I asked Elaine Aron why we HSPs suffer so much, and as the spiritual teacher she is, she said:

Human suffering is the reason for all spiritual paths. Various thinkers and all the spiritual traditions have tried to help us understand suffering. It always seems to come down to a path of transformation and growth, especially for the highly sensitive person who is both more soulful and and more spiritual. As we grow in and through our suffering, we mature toward a bigger and bigger view of both our suffering and that of the world. After all, we have a deep talent for being aware of what others miss or deny, and it is ignorance which does the damage, again and again. (Private 2023)

Highly sensitive people who experienced less than optimal childhoods are more likely to suffer as adults, beyond the average human experience. This is why a spiritual path (not necessarily a religious one) is critical to our mental health.

Victor Frankl, a neurologist, psychiatrist, and concentration camp survivor, found meaning in his suffering by finding a purpose:

In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.

Elaine Aron teaches us that HSPs need to have a purpose for our existence. Once you find a meaning in what you are going through, then it is no longer suffering--it is instead that spiritual growth which gives life meaning.

Questions:

1. I am currently suffering a lot of pain in my body. The perpetual question is what is the purpose of this pain? What is it teaching me and those around me? 
2. How do I stop reliving childhood abuse (i.e., flashbacks and body memories) and live in the present? 
3. How can I respond with love to my four HSP children when I’m in personal crisis due to their overwhelming asks/whines? 
4. I am having a lot of difficulty handling what’s going on in today’s world. I see and hear so much suffering and tragedy. I try to limit what I watch on tv etc, but information seems to leak out. Then once it gets in my head it just keeps popping up. It’s information that is horrific. I try to not focus on it, but how do you not react to it? Ever since I was young I’ve seen and experienced tragedy, and way back then you just swallowed the pain. You just had to pretend it wasn’t there. After awhile I started to work “around” what I was feeling and thinking instead of dealing with it. It was very difficult, but I got to the point where I would only allow myself to breakdown when I was alone. However, taking on a new default of swallowing the pain of the old and of the new as it came along, you wind up getting to where you can’t swallow any more. It keeps trying to come up. I didn’t know how to find a meaning while growing up and I can’t find a meaning to what is going on in today’s world.    I know everyone is struggling to deal with the horrible reality of today. But how do you do it by not talking about it? It’s another thing people don’t talk about because it’s so difficult and painful, and I get that. I just haven’t learned how to process it. The energy gets to be overwhelming. I feel angry, devastated, compassionate for those who are suffering. People are in harm’s way just because of who they are, or what they believe, and it’s getting more the norm to just do nothing and look away. Letting the situation become more out of control and dangerous. This is where having blind faith becomes very hard for me. I try to not let it overwhelm me, but I feel if I just look away I am denying what’s happening and I don’t know how I can help. 
5. I feel like, as an HSP, I am a raw, open nerve ending experiencing the world.  Theoretically, an open nerve ending should experience both a higher intensity of pain and suffering as well as joy and pleasure, however my experience lately seems heavily weighted toward the former (pain, suffering).  How do I make space for more joy and pleasure? 
6. As a highly sensitive person with adverse childhood experiences, complex PTSD, and chronic illnesses, I do feel like I have experienced more suffering, pain, distress, and hardship than the average human.  I can clearly see that my experiences have brought me or enhanced existing superpowers, including empathy, resilience, organization, etc.  I am practicing radical acceptance, and also sometimes feel resentment towards most "everyone else" (or at least the majority) who has it easier.  I am also practicing holding this resentment with care, like a small child, and also not letting it “drive the car” so to speak.  My questions are:  1)  Do you have any thoughts on how to manage this resentment?  2) How do I go beyond managing the resentment and surviving the suffering to REALLY experiencing joy and thriving (which, to be honest, I haven’t felt in a very, very long time)?
7. Question about 'suffering' in very common, everyday scenarios: Last week I volunteered for a 30-minute slot at my kids' school's trunk or treat. It was hot, I was so uncomfortable, and the whole event was entirely overstimulating, even though nothing even happened. By the end of it, I was in such a state. I felt like every eye was on me even though I know that isn't true, but something about it made me feel as self-conscious as I did when I was 13. I feel so pathetic for letting something like that affect me so much. I hesitate to classify it as ‘suffering,’ but if I'm honest with myself, that's what it felt like. Is this just how it always is for HSPs? Is there any relief?
8. Thank you for this opportunity. I cannot be there today, but look forward to watching the recording. I had developed decent skills for managing my HSP trait as a child and adult ( even though I knew nothing of the HSP trait until the past 5+ years). I knew I needed a lot of exercise, outside time, solo time, good eating habits, yoga in recent years, etc. However, with aging (58) and a lot of trauma in the past five years (lost our son 2 years ago after 12 years of a severe seizure disorder and both my parents to suicide). I have a family history of depression and suicide. I feel my old coping mechanisms (which I still use) are just not enough to keep me functioning and “palatable” to others. The grief of my own and of the world feels so heavy and sometimes unbearable. I am working on self-compassion, but it is hard to find true joy and passion for life. I would greatly appreciate any insights you might have and very much appreciate your work!