Free time or downtime one minute and double the work for parents the next. Summer camps, jobs, friends, travel, family, community service, summer classes: How do you keep sensitive children and youth in balance with just the right amount of busy and just the right amount of chill? How important is time in nature for the sensitive children and youth...for you?

How is summer unfolding for you?

Are you going wacko from the kids being home?

Or maybe they are enrolled in camps and struggling with overwhelm which also stresses you.

Do you find that bedtime has gotten really late or the kids are on the screens way too much?

Are they saying I'm bored and wanting you to entertain them? (I have so many ideas for this–I call them Summer Youth Hacks and we discuss many in this masterclass.)

I've also been really thinking about how important summer is for creating a back to school plan. This is a great opportunity to build skills and plan carefully for easy transitions.

What are your favorite strategies for negotiating summer parenting? Best camps? How do you help HSCs survive swim classes which are imperative yet so unappealing to many HSCs (both Elaine and Alane have childhood trauma stories about swimming lessons-Brrr)? How much camp, sports, playdates, travel, screentime, sleep, supervision is just right?

Imagine a story of a fabulous summer memory from your childhood. Take some time, maybe right now as you are reading this…what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you read “fabulous summer memory”? Now really think back to the details. Where are you and with whom? What are you doing–something big or small? Are you happy? Do you feel like your best self?

We invite you to use these memories to “design the right life” for the kids, reframe your own childhood summers and create a new summer experience that follows the HSP Five to Thrive. 

And, yes. It is time for Back to School Planning. We start preparing HSCs and Sensitive Youth for the future by creating long, gentle transitions. We begin to prepare for the next step before the current moment ends. Prior and proper preparation prevents poor performance and procrastination by preparing people properly. Summer is all about the abundance of time for amazing preparation. If you have a school aged child or adolescent, now is a good time to find out what they will be reading in school next year. Find the book in the library and get the recorded version or read it out loud with your kid. When they re-read it with the class, life will make so much more sense and be so much easier. 

This class had a variety of questions (see below) including a few that apply to everyone, not just parents and kids. Check them out to see what you think. 

Questions:

1. My HSC is really getting into reading now at age 9. He really enjoyed reading with me as a toddler/preschooler, but grew uninterested as he was learning to read. Now that he's proficiently reading whatever he's interested in, he's reading a lot more. I'm just connecting right now that that may be due to the overwhelm of learning to read versus feeling confident in reading. I was worried about him not reading enough a year or two ago, but now I'm excited for how his reading is taking off.
2. When I think of summer, I think of large, loud parties for families, adults, and kids alike!  Ever since I was a kid, these types of gatherings have been awkward and come with mixed feelings:  Yes, they can be fun as I really enjoy meeting new people and forming deeper connections, AND these gatherings do take a lot of physical, mental, and emotional preparation and recovery.  I dread standing or sitting there alone (because I want to connect with people!) and trying to look “cool,” while I perceive everyone else to be having a good time. By the end of the party it seems like everyone else has made a new friend in a natural way except me (I know, I’m comparing my insides to other people's outsides!).  Do you have any tips for navigating these gatherings? I’m looking for any strategies, not limited to thoughts on these questions: 1) if I’m staying for a short time, should I arrive in the beginning (which may mean fewer people), middle (which may mean I can blend into a crowd), or end (which may mean a short but memorable appearance)? 2) how do I “enter” a conversation when everyone has already formed their groups - and it’s hard to even physically insert myself in the circle? 3) how do I tactfully exit a conversation I no longer want to be part of (I don’t want to make the other person feel alone or awkward either!). 4) how do I smoothly ask for a potential friend’s contact info?  5) what green flags can I look for when searching for somebody or a group that I may be able to form a connection with at the event?  6) are there kid friendly tips that I can help coach my kid with on these same topics? 7) how do I help my kid navigate these situations while I am also anxious (for myself) about them?
3. Back to school means a school-sponsored outdoor education program every fall.  It's part of the standard school curriculum and is not graded.  The whole grade of students goes away for 5 days to camp, sometimes in cabins and sometimes in tents with backpacking and a leave-no-trail philosophy - definitely not “glamping.”  My daughter has gone on these trips for several years.  These trips are overwhelming for my child.  She is well-liked, but it's been difficult for her to make close friends in her 3 years at this school, and being away for 5 days feeling lonely and not feeling part of a group, while in a group, is hard for her.  It's also hard to be around so many new things at once:  environment, weather patterns, sleeping arrangements (often multiple people to a tent or cabin), bathroom situation, etc.  She also has some chronic conditions that add to the adjustment process.  She does walk away with some good memories, but overall these trips are stressful.  I can empathize with her feelings and experiences - I had similar ones as a child.  Do you have any advice on how to approach these trips with my daughter?  Are there potential reframes?  Are there practical strategies to make these trips easier?  How can I help her advocate for herself and advocate on behalf of her to make these trips more accessible and fun - without singling her out and making her feel even more different?  When is it time to just skip out on these trips and spend the time at home?
4. I’m interested to hear your opinion on social learning through TV shows and movies for HSCs. I watched a lot of TV as a kid (definitely too much by others’ standards!) but I know I soaked up so much by observing people through the screen as an HSP. However, I know I used TV as a coping mechanism and I still do today. As a parent, I see my own HSC following in my footsteps. I see that he’s learning about interpersonal relationships from what he’s watching. I also see that he likes to relax with a screen a lot - but he also doesn’t have to be told to turn off the screen, he abides by our rules and often turns it off just because he’s done with it. Still, he’s using screens more than what’s recommended for sure, especially now that it’s summer. But I also empathize with him because I find TV comforting and relaxing too! <sigh.> What are your thoughts? NO
1. Piggybacking on this excellent question, I’d like to ask what TV/movies provide good representations of interpersonal relationships for young adults?  (Fiction, preferably) 
5. As HSPs, we want to limit screen time for ourselves and our children.  At the same time, can you please speak to specific ways we can leverage technology to help us be the best HSPs we can be? (in addition to being part of this awesome virtual community!)  Any thoughts on what generative Artificial Intelligence - the new technology that folks are talking about - could mean or be useful for our HSP community?
6.  Tips or advice for sending a  highly sensitive 2-year-old (I am HSP too) to preschool for the first time? He currently spends all day with a nanny but both parents WFH so he sees us several times throughout the day. He does get separation anxiety for me (mom) sometimes when I walk away initially. He just turned 2 last weekend and is supposed to start preschool in Sept. However, that’s the same month we are likely moving homes now, so I’m hoping I can work with the school to push back to a January start date (the last month we will have our nanny), but I’m not sure it will be an option and don’t want to risk “losing our spot” at the school if it’s not guaranteed. Still, trying to spread out all the big changes! - We chose a Reggio-inspired indoor/outdoor preschool that seems to really focus on validating feelings, offering options for activities and allowing the kids to choose (not forcing certain activities), and community building. Do you have thoughts about the best preschool environments for 2-3 year olds who are HS? - He seems ready to potty train but I don’t want to throw in another big thing right before or after starting preschool (and a move!). But how long should I put it off? How to balance all the upcoming changes 🤪